Step1. Starve yourself all day so that you have no other option but to cook something of your own.
Step2. Pull up what seems like a decent lentil soup recipe.
Step3. Go to the supermarket and buy pretty much everything as your fridge is empty (this also helps in the starvation proctess described in step1).
Step4. Call your mom and ask her for her secret ingredient. (You pretend that there is one so that if the soup fails you'll have a handy excuse).
Step5. Pull up Pandora and find some mood-elevating-all-I-want-to-do-is-cook music
Step6. Pull up your blog and start describing your experience cause hell, this is an important moment.
Step7. Take your laptop with you in the kitchen and make your self a mojito (Tipsy cooking: handy excuse #2).
Step8. Start putting the groceries in the fridge. Realize that this should have been step5.
Step9. Realize that you didn't but lentils and the ones you have at home may not be enough.
Step10. Convert 8ounces to lbs to see if the lentils are going to be enough. (You doubt it)
Step11. You're 4ounces short so you're making half the quantity now. It's ok because it was supposed to be 4 servings to begin with.
Step12. Start thinking about extra things to cook. Feel happy that you got those Spinach Pesto Puffs.
Step13. Put pastries on a baking pan. Write a note to yourself on the fridge to make sure you don't forget about them.
Step 14. Do the dishes, there's no room to cook here!
Step15. "Place lentils in a large saucepan, cover with 1 inch of water. Place over medium-high heat and bring to a boil; cook for 10 minutes, then drain lentils into a strainer."
Step16. Sip. Turn up the volume. Shake booty.
Step17. Mince one onion and chop a carrot.
Step18. Think about where you should put your xmas lights.
Step18. "Dry saucepan, pour in olive oil, and place over medium heat. Add garlic, onion, and carrot; cook and stir until the onion has softened and turned translucent, about 5 minutes. Pour in lentils, 1 quart water, oregano, rosemary, and bay leaves. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer for 10 minutes."
Step19. Throw all measuring cups on the floor. Niiiice.
Step20. Add some more water. 2 cups don't seem enough. Totally regretting this later...
Step21. Be proud that you didn't have to buy bay leaves cause you already had some. Huh!
Step22. Spend 3 minutes looking for your cellphone. Just enough for the lentils to start boiling.
Step23. Realize you've been listening to Eminem and change stations.
Step24. Refill salt container.
Step25. Look at your glass. There is too much Mojito. Sip. Sip. Sip.
Step26. "Stir in tomato paste and season to taste with salt and pepper. Cover and simmer until the lentils have softened, 30 to 40 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add additional water if the soup becomes too thick."
Step27. Set up an alarm for 30 min from now.
Step 28. Start tidying up. So domestic!
Step 29. Put on Xmas light around the living room windows. Know deep inside that they wont be ever getting off.
Step 30. Realize you need to do laundry asap. Mental Note: Next apartment must have a washing machine!
Step31. Empty the rest of the Mojito bottle. It has been in the fridge for too long anyways.
Step32. Take a look at the soup. Realize there's not much water left and the taste is too plain. Add water and salt... this is not looking good!
Step33. Taste it again. Maybe it's not that bad...
Step34. Alarm clock goes off. What is done is done!
Step35. Take rest of drink to the couch and relax till dinner time!
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