Things that make me feel better

1. Ice cream with millions of different toppings
2. Boardgames @Play
3. Finding sneaky bugs
4. Hoping in my car and just driving. Anywhere.
5. Going to the movies with a huge amount of popcorn and soda
6. Shopping for shoes (preferably in London - sorry Pittsburgh)
7. Sketching in a sunny room while chatting with Ririna
8. Drinking a Freddo by the sea; playing tavli goes with that one too
9. Hearing from people I didn't expect to remember I exist
10. Doing something silly that makes somebody smile
11. Cleaning and tidying up (that actually requires being quite annoyed)
12. Dreaming of flying.
13. Making pretty things out of the weirdest materials (still haven't made that necklace out of an old CPU I kept)
14. Waking up in the morning and not having to do anything.
15. Realizing someone is actually paying attention to what I say.
16. Listening to old favorite songs and just singing along
17. Writing. Anything, even if there is no one there to read it.
18. Dressing up and liking what I see in the mirror. Yes, heals are mandatory.
19. Getting tickled. Probably cause it makes me feel like my smile is important for someone.
20. Round numbers, heh!

You have been approved!

No one admits to it, but deep inside we all seek approval for our actions and choices. From the smallest things, like which shoes to wear, to the most important ones, like getting a job or moving in with the one you love, we always feel the need for some external sanity check.

"Does that make sense or am I totally blinded?"

Well, I have one thing to say. Suspecting you're right about something is quite cool, but having the entire universe signaling that you're making the right choice is pretty damn awesome!

Bad Ideas

I need to make a list of all the things I shouldn't do.
More precisely I need to make a list of the things I shouldn't do again.

It's amazing how strong we think we are. How logical, how mature. And then at the first temptation we cave in to our inner instincts and usually end up hurt. Again. I wonder how many times it will take before I realize that some things are just bad for me. I guess deep inside I'm just hoping for that one time when things will be different and reality wont justify my darker thoughts. After all the main principle is quite simple. Past is past. The word itself tells you all you need to know. It will always be there but its meant to be left behind. It's importance is only the one we attach to it, but in all seriousness, how could you possibly ignore it? How can you pretend it doesn't tell you more about the people you know now but you didn't use to know before? How can you detach yourself and accept reality as something uncorrelated to the it?
I wish I could do that, things would be so much easier. And mind you, that comes from a person that tries to just live and do the minimum amount of thinking. I just happen to find it extremely difficult to remain unaffected or even process things with reason. I'm tempted to say that's what happens when you're emotionally involved with people.

In any case i don't know how to fix this. Hopefully smiling will scare the ghosts away.

When things go wrong

1. Bus trip cancelled
2. Snow storm turning into blizzard
4. Change in plane trip because of the weather
5. Missing luggage
6. Arriving late to the airport
6. Delayed flight
7. Non responsive airline
8. Stuck trains

My world is out of control...

Train stations

Ever since I remember myself I have always wanted to get away.
Trains, airports, cars... they all attract me in a way I cannot explain. I want to get inside, empty my head from thoughts and just look outside the window. It almost feels like I'm looking at my own life go by. No wonder it is comforting. No decisions, you just follow the track and go.

I pretend not to notice, but this feeling never goes away and now I'm tired. Is this ever going to end? Or am I to wonder from place to place without knowing where I belong?

All I want is to finally find my destination.
A place that feels like home...

It is all a matter of motivation...

I cannot help but feel amazed at the power of motivation.

It makes me wonder if we ever really know our limits at all. How many times have I heard people (or even me) say "oh, I'd never do that" or "I hate doing this"... and then when you least expect it you see yourself not only doing all those things you "hated" but also enjoying them. Of course that's when you blame life for being a bitch and just wanting to prove you wrong all the time. But let's be serious here; I'm pretty sure life's got more important things to do than waste time over you.

So the question remains, do you ever really know who you are or does it all come down to sufficient amounts of motivation?

How to make the most amaaaazing lentil soup

Step1.     Starve yourself all day so that you have no other option but to cook something of your own.
Step2.     Pull up what seems like a decent lentil soup recipe.
Step3.     Go to the supermarket and buy pretty much everything as your fridge is empty (this also helps in the starvation proctess described in step1).
Step4.     Call your mom and ask her for her secret ingredient. (You pretend that there is one so that if the soup fails you'll have a handy excuse).
Step5.     Pull up Pandora and find some mood-elevating-all-I-want-to-do-is-cook music
Step6.     Pull up your blog and start describing your experience cause hell, this is an important moment.
Step7.     Take your laptop with you in the kitchen and make your self a mojito (Tipsy cooking: handy excuse #2).
Step8.     Start putting the groceries in the fridge. Realize that this should have been step5.
Step9.     Realize that you didn't but lentils and the ones you have at home may not be enough.
Step10.   Convert 8ounces to lbs to see if the lentils are going to be enough. (You doubt it)
Step11.   You're 4ounces short so you're making half the quantity now. It's ok because it was supposed to be 4 servings to begin with.
Step12.   Start thinking about extra things to cook. Feel happy that you got those Spinach Pesto Puffs.
Step13.   Put pastries on a baking pan. Write a note to yourself on the fridge to make sure you don't forget about them.
Step 14.  Do the dishes, there's no  room to cook here!
Step15.   "Place lentils in a large saucepan, cover with 1 inch of water. Place over medium-high heat and bring to a boil; cook for 10 minutes, then drain lentils into a strainer."
Step16.   Sip. Turn up the volume. Shake booty.
Step17.   Mince one onion and chop a carrot.
Step18.   Think about where you should put your xmas lights.
Step18.   "Dry saucepan, pour in olive oil, and place over medium heat. Add garlic, onion, and carrot; cook and stir until the onion has softened and turned translucent, about 5 minutes. Pour in lentils, 1 quart water, oregano, rosemary, and bay leaves. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer for 10 minutes."
Step19.  Throw all measuring cups on the floor. Niiiice.
Step20.   Add some more water. 2 cups don't seem enough. Totally regretting this later...
Step21.   Be proud that you didn't have to buy bay leaves cause you already had some. Huh!
Step22.   Spend 3 minutes looking for your cellphone. Just enough for the lentils to start boiling.
Step23.   Realize you've been listening to Eminem and change stations.
Step24.   Refill salt container.
Step25.   Look at your glass. There is too much Mojito. Sip. Sip. Sip.
Step26.   "Stir in tomato paste and season to taste with salt and pepper. Cover and simmer until the lentils have softened, 30 to 40 minutes, stirring occasionally. Add additional water if the soup becomes too thick."
Step27.   Set up an alarm for 30 min from now.
Step 28.  Start tidying up. So domestic!
Step 29.  Put on Xmas light around the living room windows. Know deep inside that they wont be ever getting off.
Step 30.  Realize you need to do laundry asap. Mental Note: Next apartment must have a washing machine!
Step31.   Empty the rest of the Mojito bottle. It has been in the fridge for too long anyways.
Step32.   Take a look at the soup. Realize there's not much water left and the taste is too plain. Add water and salt... this is not looking good!
Step33.   Taste it again. Maybe it's not that bad...
Step34.   Alarm clock goes off. What is done is done!
Step35.   Take rest of drink to the couch and relax till dinner time!