Is it worth even trying?

Assumptions:

We're on this stupid planet not because we chose to but because shit happens.
We're not alone on this planet and that was not by choice either.
We end up interacting with people, sometimes by choice sometimes by fate, sometimes cause there's nothing good on TV and wth it can't be that bad (*evil laugh*)
At the end of the day we're responsible for making something or nothing out of this time spend consciously on this planet.

Our life is in our hands. As in: my life is in my hands and your life is in your hands. There's no magic here. No mix-up. No sharing. If I choose to make myself happy by making you happy that's my choice, my privilege and my responsibility. But if I decide to do so, I might just as well verify that what ever the hell I'm doing does make you happy after all. Maybe you don't even want to be happy with me and you're perfectly content with the little shithole I believe you put yourself into. Is it my problem? No. Should I come to the rescue? No. Why? Cause it's your freaking life and you can do whatever you want with it. I can't fix it unless I'm fixing it the way you want me to. Is that too hard a concept to grasp?

I don't wanna play God. I don't want to be treated like one. I wanna have my peace of mind knowing that my life is how I want it to be and it's safe from people who want to fix it. Thank you very much but no thanx. I'm a big girl and I know what I want out of it. And I know better than you. and you. and you. And yes, even you mom. Cause I am the one going to bed with me every night, and I'm the only one that knows if I fall asleep with a smile on my face or not. And I do. And that's cause I've been trying to get my life to a place where everything around me fills me up with joy and satisfaction. Mind you, that is *my* life. Not yours. Not his. Not hers. Definitely not ours.

I stay out of peoples lives when they want me to.
I stay out of peoples lives when I want to.
I stay out of peoples lives when there is no good in me being part of them.
And I expect people to stay out of my life when they have nothing to do with it.
My life. My rules.

Last night I dreamt

So tell me how long before the last one?
And tell me how long before the right one...

Don't understand...

1. Why songs are always right
2. Why it looks like I'm always wrong
3. Why people chage
4. Why you won't admit what you really feel
5. Why I feel I have to lie to make people happy
6. Why being happy is so bad
7. Why common sense is rare... even though it's common...

Sometimes you just want to scream!

I'm happy with my life!
I'm happy with my job!
I'm happy with my family!
I'm happy with my friends!
I'm happy with my city!
I'm happy with the weather!
I'm happy with my shoes!
I'm happy with my looks!
I'm happy with you!

I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy!

Άμα δεν σε θέλει...

Πάνω που λέω να ηρεμήσω, να το παίξω άνετη, κυρία και να φτάσω σε μία κατάσταση ζεν βρε παιδάκι μου, τσουπ, να τα πάλι τα υπογλώσσια.

Και το σπαστικό είναι ότι είμαι απλός θεατής. Και προς την μία κατεύθυνση και προς την άλλη. Πάλι καλά που η παλινδρόμηση έχει μεγάλη περίοδο γιατί θα με πιάσει και καμία ναυτία. Βέβαια στην γενική ανακατωσούρα βοηθάνε και διάφορες άλλες πληροφορίες που βρίσκουν τον δρόμο τους, αλλά έχω στήσει τα φίλτρα μου και αρνούμαι να επεξεργαστώ οτιδήποτε στερείται σοβαρότητας. Λίγο πολύ τα πάντα δηλαδή. Σκάω καναδυό χαμόγελα και ξεμπερδεύω.

Εκεί λοιπόν που ξύπνησα ένα πρωί και λέω βρε για δες που όλα καλά θα πάνε, μπορεί ναι να μην θρηνήσουμε θύματα τελικά (και γω εξεπλάγην η αλήθεια είναι) ξυπνάω ένα άλλο πρωί και μου ανεβαίνει το αίμα στο κεφάλι ως συνήθως. Δεν θέλω όμως βρε αδερφέ. Αλλά δεν φταίω κιόλας. Φταίνε τα ρημάδια τα pixel και τα μεταφορικά.

Που θα μου πάει όμως. Νά'ναι καλά οι καμήλες και τα καραβάνια και χαλάλι. Αλλά να πω ότι καταλαβαίνω... δεν καταλαβαίνω. Φαίνεται πως το να στερείς πράγματα από ανθρώπους που τα θέλουν, ακόμα και αν εσένα σου είναι παντελώς άχρηστα, έχει κάποια αξία.

Σε τι νόμισμα? Σε χαιρέκακα μυρμήγκια.

Suprises

Some times you love them, some times you hate them. And there's no contradiction here. When your reality gets shaked by something you weren't expecting you just question everything all over again. That's when you wish you could be left alone for good. Will there ever be a remedy or is my search for Po's inner peace in vain?

Things I like about my job

1. I get to walk there. Yup. Walk. As in using my feet. And it only takes 15 minutes. And it feels great! Ok, pending it doesn't rain...
2. I don't have to clean, peel, cut my fruit. They're there waiting for me.
3. I can gaze upon the city for high above. Just the way I like it - things look nice when you're at a safety distance.
4. People smile. And laugh. And joke. And help you out.  And you know what else they do? they RTMFs. Allofthem.
5. I can be as geeky and goofy and silly as I want without being judged. It's actually kinda like a pre-req around here.
6. No.Freaking.Paperwork. It's a dream come true!
7. I get to play around with new stuff and call it work. Too bad I can't really tell anybody about them thought.
8. I can tell people what I do and be proud of it. Like, really! :)